September 10, 2009 (Session 9)

After a hiatus of 10 days, the participants had gathered together at Cymroza Art Gallery at Kemps Corner, as Sudharak's exhibition titled 'Coloured Worlds' along with Helena Schatzle was on display. Some of them had long arduous journeys of waiting for the others to arrive so that they could bunch together. But when they reached the art gallery, they soon became busy in viewing the photographs that were on display, while some others nudged Anuja and Mexy to download their photographs.

Finally, when the workshop session began, the participants were in for a rude shock: Sudharak told them that he had viewed their photographs and was disappointed with what they had done. “There was something particular that was expected of you all and each of you have independent way of looking at things. Some photographs taken by you seem as though they were taken by professional photographers but most others hurried a lot with taking pictures. Your own independent way of looking at the world was not evident in the second lot of photographs that you have taken. You cannot afford to be in a hurry while taking photographs. You have to be very steady and sure of the subject that you want to capture, and hence it is essential that everything is dealt with patiently. Most of your photographs have been blurred and hence I strongly suggest that nobody would now be handed the camera for one week.

With the participants feeling uneasy about getting the sudden dose of unexpected negative feedback, Ravi tried to lighten the situation in his own way. “All of us get excited when we get something new in our hands, and this has been the case even with you when you got the camera. The excitement took over the need to be calm and steady, and that did not allow for a comfortable communication flow between you and the subject. But I personally think that each of you have done a wonderful job – I am not saying this to give you a feel good factor, but your photography experience of one month is definitely commendable, as against our photography experience of 20 years! I think you should be excused for that and maybe we can ask Sudharak to forgive us for the hurry we displayed in our photographs,” he said, which eased up the participants to a great extent.

While Sudharak was a little occupied entertaining his guests who had come to see his show, the floor was left open for those women to talk about their experiences when they had come to the same gallery on the previous Friday, September 4, for the opening of Sudharak's exhibition. The participants who had attended the Friday function were Reshma, Ayesha, Farhat, Piagumberi, Raziya and Yasmin. Reshma said that this was her third trip to any art gallery ever and so the initial excitement had weaned off. “Now I know what to expect in an art gallery and I have also seen how the exhibition openings of art galleries look like. Ayesha and I had come early and we soon realised that we would have to break our Ramzan fast here, at 6.55pm. We saw a chair and thought we would sit on it for a few minutes while we broke our fast, but a beautiful bouquet of flowers were sitting pretty on it. So we let it be as it was, and went into a small corner; picked up a bottle of water and chewed on the dried dates. Later, we had a lot of snacks that were being served by the waiters. It was a very different kind of set-up for us to break our fast,” she told the others.

Paigumberi said that she was among the first to arrive on Friday and she only saw journalist Dilip Raote. "I saw some photographs clicking away and decided to do the same. Slowly people began to stroll in and and they all seemed colourful people from different walks of life. Soon there was a candle-lighting ceremony followed by Sudharak and Helena giving a short presentation. I did not understand much of what they spoke but I joined the others in clapping for them. The waiters then brought food which I was glad to have. My camera battery had also given away by then, but I saw Ayesha and Reshma walk in. So I had someone to accompany me through the evening. Reshma and I broke the fast together; I remember how we were constantly checking our watches and after we had broken the fast, we were asking the waiters each time about the content of the food that they brought in. We left the gallery at 8.30pm."

It was time again to have a short presentation of the photographs of the participants that were selected by Sudharak. Ravi said, "When you look at the photographs now, you will notice quite a difference between those that were taken in the first and second rounds. Also, when you visit a place and take photographs, there is always a feeling that you wish you had taken more photographs. That is always the case with anyone who loves to see different new things. Can anyone explain why do we go through such a feeling?"

Ayesha agreed that she too had felt the same. For her, the experience was akin to that of a mela where there is so much to see and do, and yet, later on one feels incomplete of not having done everything at the mela. Raziya reasoned this feeling to the fact that everyone knows deep in their heart that better photographs can be taken, while Farhat attributed this feeling to greed -- the need to always want more than is already achieved.

Ravi said that he once read about the need to take maximum number of photographs of a place you knew that you wouldn't be able to revisit soon. "When I had gone to McLeodganj, I wanted to take many photographs but my camera battery died mid-way. So I captured all the images that I needed in my mind's eye! But can anyone tell me how could one possibly take the maximum number of photographs of a given situation without having the hurried feel in the photographs?"

Ayesha replied that what was most needed at the time of taking the photographs was a certain kind of 'thehrao', or stillness, in us. Ravi hailed the word used by her and said that stillness for the moment was very essential so that the hurry in the photograph is not seen. Sudharak then went to show 160 photographs taken by the participants, because those revealed what caught the eye of the person who was behind the camera. "These are photographs of your lives and we want to see more of this. Your photographs reflect what you see, what you like or dislike, and what your thinking process is like. Finally, we will select just 20 best photographs taken by you. I quite enjoyed some of the photographs that you have taken -- they were fun and entertaining to look at, and it is your personal documentation that steals the show," said Sudharak, and then a series of presentations of the selected photographs followed, after which the remaining pictures to be viewed were also seen.

The gallery authorities said that the projector had to cool down for Sudharak and Helena's talk later in the evening, and so the current presentations had to be stopped. Sudharak then asked Helena, who had arrived at the gallery by then, to explain about her experience in India and how she took certain photographs. She spoke in English which was translated in Hindi by Priyanka. "I first came to Mumbai four years ago with two more friends and at that time I was looking at India as a tourist. Later I cam again and I met Sudharak, who asked me to accompany him for a project that he was doing across India. There were times when people would look at me with glaring eyes but I couldn't help it, nor could I just stop taking photographs because of them. So I had to just be confident about myself in a different country and learnt a few words of Hindi so that I could manoeuvre my way through," she meant to say.

Sudharak further elaborated that it was commendable of her that she went to live and understand the nuances of family life in India, among those whose lives she wanted to document through her camera. "She learnt a few words of Hindi to get by and did not once complain about the the mad heat – she comes from a country of sub zero temperature and in Rajasthan she did not utter a single word of complain about its temperature of 47 degree Celsius. She was entirely dedicated to her work and gave it her complete best," he said.

The evening was inching forward and the participants had to get back home, most of them before sundown so that they are on time to break their fasts. It was decided that a last session would take place at the Awaz-E-Niswaan office the following Thursday, where a consensus would be taken on the final project to be done by the women.

September 15, 2009 (Session 10)

This was to be the last session of the long workshop that had unfolded many stories of grit, determination, self-confidence and hope. The remaining photographs of the participants which had not been viewed until now, were presented. The session began with Tabassum's photographs and she was urged to talk about them. Sudharak introduced her presentation stating that she did exactly what was instructed and her photographs displayed the emotions and feelings among her family members, whose photograph she had taken during different periods of the day and week. "Both Tabassum and Heena have done excellent work with their camera and although they have both shown images of their home and family, both have different perspectives to the same topic," he said.

Tabassum said that she had the camera with her for only a single day and hence the easiest way out with her project was to to take photographs of her family. "I wanted to show what my home, my locale looks like -- how we conduct ourselves in our day-to-day lives. So i took photographs of everyone dancing suddenly when music was on and an infant who was put to sleep in a makeshift swing made of dupatta. I had some cousins visiting us and i took their photographs too," she said.

Ravi commented that the bond among her family members were evident, while according to Sudharak, Tabassum did not have to struggle a single bit to show emotions in her photographs.

Next in line was Heena, who wanted to show the interactions between her four children who were the rock to each other. "My eldest daughter almost always feeds her siblings and is already a mother figure to them. My husband had divided our house with a plank of wood and the other side of the house has been given on rent where a little girl lives. She had dressed up as Krishna's Radha for Janmasthami, but I did not have a camera with me at that time. So when I got hold of the camera, I told her mother to dress he up again and that's how I took her photograph again," Heena explained.

Next was Fatima, who was also quite determined to show her family life through her photographs. "One morning I woke up and saw that my son was sleeping with my brother. I instantly removed the camera from its case and took the photograph. I always insist my son to drink milk instead of tea, and that is when I thought that I should take his photograph, to boost him further to drink milk before he left for school. My younger sister also finishes her work early in the morning with quite a hurry because she has to reach her workplace. Mornings are quite swift at home and that is what I wanted to show through my photographs. My youngest brother is very religious and is not in much favour of photography and any media. So I had to take his photograph very discreetly," she said.

Fatima added that she always had her camera strung around her neck and that she was eagerly waiting for her other son to get home from hostel so that she could take photographs of her children playing and talking.

Sudharak remarked that all of us intended to take photographs of the outside world, but we hardly ever realised that our home by itself was one of the best grounds for getting the most beautiful photographs. "Taking family photographs is also like documenting history. You can only imagine how your son will feel when he sees the photographs of him eating pav and milk in the morning before school, when he is about 30 years old," he said.

Farhat remarked that although Ramzan was a season of observing austerity in all forms, her family was observing, although with no intention of malice, that she was indulging in much more frivolity with her camera!

The photograph of a balloon-seller was taken by Shabeena, which prompted Sudharak to rightly comment that even if the man's face is not visible, the balloons he carry are enough to spread joy. "I also wanted to show how my mohalla looks. There was a little girl who insisted that I take her photograph and she followed me till my house, just so that I oblige her. My uncle's children were visiting us and I took out my camera. My mother said that I should let them get properly dressed do that they appear neat in the photographs. I rubbished what she had to say and told her that I would take their photographs just as they were. Besides, I love to watch the TV serial 'Balika Vadhu' and hence took some snapshots from TV when the show was on," Shabeena explained.

The shy Shabeena had also taken photographs of a rusted autorickshaw which looked more a like person's face. She also took a photograph of a public bathroom which had white tiles and a white wash basin. Her rationale to take the photograph was that the whiteness of the entire situation appealed to her. Paigumberi, who was then sitting next to her, commented that she was taking photographs of just anything that she saw and that it wouldn't be a surprise if she had taken the photographs of a toilet. "If I feel the need to, then I will surely take the photograph of a toilet. What is wrong with that?" Shabeena retorted.

A shorter presentation then followed which was some photographs selected by Anuja – they included photographs of visuals seen outside and inside the house. Gazala had taken the photograph of her neighbour who was pregnant, and Sudharak told her that she should focus on the woman as her final project. He added, "All of your final photo stories will revolve around you. You can choose topics like single women running their households, women breaking traditional barriers to study and have a career, etc. These are topics that you could think of, within the available realm of your life and immediate neighbourhood. Some other topics that you could work on are poverty, illiteracy, domestic violence, health, gender, living and sanitation conditions, the purdah system, divorce, etc."

Farhat said that she was angry about the way Muslim women are perceived and she wanted to break away from those notions. "I have endured pain personally and know what it feels to emerge successful after all of it. So I am sure that we will pull this project through, positively. In the course of this workshop, all of us had a chance to see many many photographs. We also saw some photographs of Muslim women in their stereotypical attire. It is we who can break those notions through our photographs, and personally rebuild our lives by breaking away from those ideas. We have to make our own image, about ourselves and tell the world that we are just like anyone else."

Ravi concluded the session with the example of a butterfly. "A beautiful butterfly is born only from the tiny larva. The birth process is not one of ease -- the butterfly has to struggle quite a bit so to be able to finally emerge from the larva. Some scientists were once trying to ease the process of the butterfly's birth, by opening up the hole of the larva. The butterflies thus born were not as beautiful as the ones which had struggled to get out. Our lives are just like that the struggling butterfly, waiting to be born beautiful," he said.

Everyone present at that moment in the Awaz-E-Niswaan office sat together is a huge circle and played a refreshing and energising game of antakshari. Some were dinging, while some others joined in the revelry of being together and working towards one goal – of becoming independent and free of any hurt and pain, but hoping for more such fun-filled days in their lives.